As each day passes, I am thinking more about the fact that Nathan is nearly six months old. I can hardly believe how quickly the time has gone. Anyway, I'll restrain myself and bit and focus on the details I wanted to share today.
First, three nights ago, Jeff and I gave up on trying to squish Nathan into his pajamas that were clearly pulling at the buttons. As I put Nate into 12 month sized pajamas, I couldn't help but notice that the 12 month pajamas are truly made for little kids and not my five and one half month old son. The pajamas have rubber soled feet, designed for those who are walking, which Nathan is not. They also came with the tag regarding fire hazard that is familiar from all my days at GapKids. Nevertheless, the pajamas fit Nathan much better even if the legs are a little long.
Second, I've discovered that Nathan really likes to have something to squeeze as he is falling asleep. When putting him in his crib, he sometimes gets fussy the moment I let go (not unusual for babies, I imagine). Which means I pick him back up and wait for him to calm down and try again*. Sometimes, this requires several tries until he will fall asleep. If, however, I provide him with a soft teddy bear or even a blanket, he will squeeze it in both arms and soon fall asleep. I prefer the bear to the blanket as I would hate for him to get tangled up. As each week passes, Nathan's sleep habits are improving. Many nights, he will only wake once in a twelve hour window.
*This seems like a natural place to share our philosophies on sleep training. Given that each parent must choose their own strategy, I am simply going to explain what we've chosen to do and what has worked for us. If you go to any book store, there are plenty of guides on how to get your kids to sleep. Prior to Nate's arrival, I read two popular books regarding sleep training and many internet blogs and forums.
The first book, On Becoming Baby Wise, by Gary Ezzo is "The classic sleep reference guide utilized by over 1,000,000 parents worldwide". As I read the book, one of the biggest take-aways was the philosophy of putting your child on a fairly strict three schedule of feeding, wake time and sleep. The central component is the "Parent Directed Feeding", a "twenty four hour infant management strategy". The PDF theory is designed to provide structure into the day that meets the needs of baby and family. Ezzo's philosophy discourages deviations from the three hour schedule, even if baby has other ideas. In this way, baby learns when it's time to eat and when it's time to sleep. I have to admit that before reading this book, I had read many comments online that were opposed to the strategies Ezzo recommends. The most cited concern was a failure to thrive among babies who were following the schedule. Some mothers likely had chosen to follow the schedule rather than always meet the changing needs of their babies. Naturally, however, I was put off by this negative association with the book and I probably didn't come to it with an open mind.
The second book, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, by Tracy Hogg I found referenced frequently in the internet forums. This book claims to teach readers "How to calm, connect, and communicate with your baby". This book uses a strategy called EASY, which stands for eat, activity, sleep and you. Similar to Ezzo's book, Baby Whisperer recommends following a three hour schedule but allows for cues that baby needs something different. One reason why I felt more drawn to this book was her directions for putting a baby to sleep.
Like Ezzo, Hogg prefers babies be put to bed while still awake. When baby starts to cry, she uses the device S.L.O.W to remind parents to Stop, Listen, Observe and "What's Up?". If needed, Hogg directs parents to pick baby up, comfort and calm baby, then replace in bed. Each time baby cries, baby should be calmed and then returned to bed. Hogg admits that some parents will have to calm their baby many times, sometimes up to one hundred until the child learns to put his or herself to sleep. Hogg encourages this strategy as it provides comfort and safety to a baby crying alone in bed. Furthermore, by putting baby back to bed each time baby is calmed, baby learns that the expectation is for sleeping. She argues against those who claim baby is being spoiled. Hogg's opinion is that a spoiled baby would be removed from the bed altogether. The first night I tried this technique, Jeff was at work and I did pick Nathan up two dozen times or more. The second night, I picked him up less than five and he was ready to fall asleep. Over the last few months, there have been nights when I needed to pick him up a few times but most nights he goes right to sleep.
Another reason I like Baby Whisperer is she provides handy, easy-to-read tips and guides throughout the book. The one I've probably used the most is a chart designed to help diagnose crying sounds based on the sound and other body language. While each child is different, it was a nice "cheat sheet" when I was learning Nate's particular sounds. These quick glance guides certainly reassured me in times of doubt.
All in all, I found Baby Whisperer to be more user friendly, and more Nathan friendly. I know it's not important, but Hogg's writing style suited me more which made it easier to read the whole book and then reread several parts in the past few months. I feel like her strategies more specifically targeted providing mom with personal time. I feel like Babywise is about forcing babies to meet a strict schedule that largely serves parents. While Baby Whisperer uses a similar schedule, Hogg's philosophy seems to be about meeting needs of baby and parents.
Despite my repeated requests, Jeff has read neither book. For the first few weeks of Nathan's life, I felt really lost and alone in trying to figure out what the right moves were. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders as I tried to implement a schedule for Nathan. It didn't help that the first question out of everyone's mouth was, "Is he sleeping at night?" or something similar (Why is our culture obsessed with this question?). I felt inadequate as a new mom when trying to understand the Babywise philosophy. In the beginning, I didn't always feel supported in my opposition to letting him just cry. Once deciding to follow the Baby Whisperer techniques, I decided to simply instruct Jeff in the bedtime routine and my self-confidence as a new mom soared. I knew almost immediately that this was the best philosophy for us and I've never looked back!
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| Rubber soled feet designed for walkers |
Second, I've discovered that Nathan really likes to have something to squeeze as he is falling asleep. When putting him in his crib, he sometimes gets fussy the moment I let go (not unusual for babies, I imagine). Which means I pick him back up and wait for him to calm down and try again*. Sometimes, this requires several tries until he will fall asleep. If, however, I provide him with a soft teddy bear or even a blanket, he will squeeze it in both arms and soon fall asleep. I prefer the bear to the blanket as I would hate for him to get tangled up. As each week passes, Nathan's sleep habits are improving. Many nights, he will only wake once in a twelve hour window. |
| Gund Teddy Bears are really soft and have easy-to-grab limbs |
The first book, On Becoming Baby Wise, by Gary Ezzo is "The classic sleep reference guide utilized by over 1,000,000 parents worldwide". As I read the book, one of the biggest take-aways was the philosophy of putting your child on a fairly strict three schedule of feeding, wake time and sleep. The central component is the "Parent Directed Feeding", a "twenty four hour infant management strategy". The PDF theory is designed to provide structure into the day that meets the needs of baby and family. Ezzo's philosophy discourages deviations from the three hour schedule, even if baby has other ideas. In this way, baby learns when it's time to eat and when it's time to sleep. I have to admit that before reading this book, I had read many comments online that were opposed to the strategies Ezzo recommends. The most cited concern was a failure to thrive among babies who were following the schedule. Some mothers likely had chosen to follow the schedule rather than always meet the changing needs of their babies. Naturally, however, I was put off by this negative association with the book and I probably didn't come to it with an open mind.
The second book, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, by Tracy Hogg I found referenced frequently in the internet forums. This book claims to teach readers "How to calm, connect, and communicate with your baby". This book uses a strategy called EASY, which stands for eat, activity, sleep and you. Similar to Ezzo's book, Baby Whisperer recommends following a three hour schedule but allows for cues that baby needs something different. One reason why I felt more drawn to this book was her directions for putting a baby to sleep.
Like Ezzo, Hogg prefers babies be put to bed while still awake. When baby starts to cry, she uses the device S.L.O.W to remind parents to Stop, Listen, Observe and "What's Up?". If needed, Hogg directs parents to pick baby up, comfort and calm baby, then replace in bed. Each time baby cries, baby should be calmed and then returned to bed. Hogg admits that some parents will have to calm their baby many times, sometimes up to one hundred until the child learns to put his or herself to sleep. Hogg encourages this strategy as it provides comfort and safety to a baby crying alone in bed. Furthermore, by putting baby back to bed each time baby is calmed, baby learns that the expectation is for sleeping. She argues against those who claim baby is being spoiled. Hogg's opinion is that a spoiled baby would be removed from the bed altogether. The first night I tried this technique, Jeff was at work and I did pick Nathan up two dozen times or more. The second night, I picked him up less than five and he was ready to fall asleep. Over the last few months, there have been nights when I needed to pick him up a few times but most nights he goes right to sleep.
Another reason I like Baby Whisperer is she provides handy, easy-to-read tips and guides throughout the book. The one I've probably used the most is a chart designed to help diagnose crying sounds based on the sound and other body language. While each child is different, it was a nice "cheat sheet" when I was learning Nate's particular sounds. These quick glance guides certainly reassured me in times of doubt.
All in all, I found Baby Whisperer to be more user friendly, and more Nathan friendly. I know it's not important, but Hogg's writing style suited me more which made it easier to read the whole book and then reread several parts in the past few months. I feel like her strategies more specifically targeted providing mom with personal time. I feel like Babywise is about forcing babies to meet a strict schedule that largely serves parents. While Baby Whisperer uses a similar schedule, Hogg's philosophy seems to be about meeting needs of baby and parents.
Despite my repeated requests, Jeff has read neither book. For the first few weeks of Nathan's life, I felt really lost and alone in trying to figure out what the right moves were. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders as I tried to implement a schedule for Nathan. It didn't help that the first question out of everyone's mouth was, "Is he sleeping at night?" or something similar (Why is our culture obsessed with this question?). I felt inadequate as a new mom when trying to understand the Babywise philosophy. In the beginning, I didn't always feel supported in my opposition to letting him just cry. Once deciding to follow the Baby Whisperer techniques, I decided to simply instruct Jeff in the bedtime routine and my self-confidence as a new mom soared. I knew almost immediately that this was the best philosophy for us and I've never looked back!
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