Parenthood Changes You

     You always hear how parenthood changes you as a person, and I have never doubted this fact.  Prior to being a father I would have conversations about other peoples kids and the infamous words of, "Now I don't have kids but. . . "  would often come out of my mouth.  When I look back I like to think I was always mindful of my inexperience and that each child and family is unique and has unique challenges and methods for handling the large number of crazy situations that parenthood seems to bring.  But there is one situation that prior to parenthood I had very little empathy for which I now understand in a completely new light.  This situation is the parent who must call in sick from work in order to take care of their child.  

       Now, to understand some of my lack of empathy you must first understand my feelings toward work.  I do not call in sick.  I can remember calling in sick perhaps 3 times in my roughly 15 years of working.   This is not to say I was never sick, but I always went to work unless absolutely not possible.  I once had an ingrown toenail removed in the morning and worked a shift that evening in which I was on my feet the entire time.  Multiple times I have gone to work sick, thrown up in the bathroom at some point and then finished my shift.  I just do not call in sick.  

      And don't get me started on those that call out when they are not actually sick.  In my mind this is just not an option.  It is just plain morally wrong.  And don't get me started on those who would use adverse weather as an excuse to miss work.  Seriously, people find a way to get to work.  If busses are running then you should be able to come in.  

      Of course as a boss, I would expect my employees to share this same work ethic.  I set an example; I expected them to follow.  I often told my employees in my annual, don't use snow as an excuse not to come to work speech that I would walk to work if need be.  (Luckily I never had to follow through on that promise)  Managers and supervisors working under me, were of course just not allowed to call in sick.  It was not an option.  Ask any of my employees, who dared to attempt to call in sick and I'm sure they will tell you that I was not always very understanding.  

    This lack of understanding unfortunately carried over to those with children as well.  As one who at the time did not have children, this always seemed to be a convenient excuse to skip out on work.  I may not have blatantly verbalized my skepticism, but I am sure you could hear it in my voice and body language.  I must now publicly apologize to all those whom had to go through the experience of attempting to call in sick while I was their boss.  

    Nathan, has been sick this week, and it has definitely increased my empathy for all those parents who must stay home from work to take care of a sick child.  On Wednesday, Nathan's daycare called saying he had a bit of a temperature and that he needed to be picked up.  He has been fighting a cold and the fever seems to be yet another symptom of his body doing what it can to get rid of it.  We knew he had to stay home on Thursday and so I stayed home with him.  He was very tired, and lethargic, sleeping most of the day and waking just to eat.  

      After a couple e-mails to the Doctor we scheduled an appointment and in a quick visit were basically told there wasn't much we could do.  Tylenol and Ibuprofen to keep the fever down, and lots of snuggles to keep mom and dad at ease.  Dr. Chrissie thought it would take a few days but that the fever would go away.  His lungs and breathing were fine, and there was no sign of an ear infection.  

     With hopes of being able to go to work on Friday, I held off on requesting a sub, but made sure I was ready should I need to.  Erin, had to go to work, as her class was selected to part of the districts Patron Tour, which involves everyday tax payers, and high ranking district officials to visit classrooms and schools to show off all the good work the district does.  (Erin and her class did a great job by the way.  She really is an excellent teacher.) 

     My hopes of not missing a second day of work were dashed when Nathan's temperature spiked about 3am.  Nathan was up for a couple hours while I attempted to comfort him.  I knew then I'd better get a sub. As I requested a sub online and sent all the required e-mails and plans, I kept thinking what a jerk I'd been to those in the same situation in my previous jobs; that staying home with a sick child was no fun, and no ones fault.  I certainly wished Nathan felt better and that I could return to work as quickly as possible.  How horrible would it be for my boss to be skeptical of my commitment and motives if I were to speak to him? 

    Being a parent definitely gives one new perspective on so many circumstances.  While watching Nathan grow up and learn so much it is amazing how much I continue to learn about myself and grow in many unexpected areas of my life.  Empathy in general has never been one of my best traits, but having children and just living life definitely has caused me to be much more empathetic to the situations of others.